In this episode, I chat with Cathy about how she grew up with only brothers, which in turn made her a pretty private person when it came to big, hard things in her life.. Things like struggling with infertility for years and having miscarriage after miscarriage, as well as thyroid cancer and divorce.*

Cathy’s story begins over a decade ago. She wanted to have a baby and be a mom. “I was just having miscarriage after miscarriage and I felt like a complete failure.” Growing up in a house full of boys, she felt like she couldn’t talk about it, which led her into a spiral of depression.

At one of Cathy’s doctor visits, just a normal workup, the doctor felt something on Cathy’s neck and said that it needed to be checked out. Cathy debated whether or not she would actually go. She was so sick of the doctors by this point, as well as being poked and prodded. Cathy ultimately did go to the doctor and it was confirmed that she had thyroid cancer. She underwent radiation and had to wait 12 months to try and conceive again.

Cathy McKinnon - Quote 1

Cathy said she became like a robot – just going through the motions. She completely shut down. Cathy says there are lots of parts she doesn’t remember because of it. She completely lost herself. There is a bright side to all of this though — after another miscarriage, she was finally able to carry her now son!

In the midst of all these things, Cathy’s marriage was dissolving. They were not speaking about things, as they were just mostly focused on checking all the boxes. When Cathy’s son was three, the father moved out and Cathy became a single mom.

Cathy McKinnon - Quote 2

Cathy talks about her journey with having thyroid cancer. We talk about having to take a pill every day for the rest of her life and how it’s “a constant chase of finding the ideal level” of medication. Blood work has to be done routinely. If she gains or loses weight, the meds have to be adjusted, etc.

Listen to the full episode to hear all the details.

-Definition of FINE: Feelings Inside Not Expressed

-Cathy’s book: Silent Grief, Healing and Hope
-Cathy’s favorite book: Get Your Shit Together by Sarah Knight
-Cathy’s product recommendation: Calm App
-Cathy’s song recommendation: One Thing Right by Marshmello (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
Cathy’s Instagram
-My ending song recommendation: Angel by Theory of a Deadman (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)

Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on Earth; for what they believe, is what they will become.

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