In this episode, I talk with Corina about how the physical, sexual, emotional and mental abuse she endured for 13 years of her childhood affected her in adulthood. Namely in intimate settings.*
When Corina was two years old, her mom married the man that became her step-dad. Corina never knew her biological father. She says that right off the bat, the abuse started. Physical, mental, emotional and eventually, sexual. The physical abuse lasted until she was 11 and that’s when the sexual abuse started. The mental and emotional abuse was an every day thing, up until they divorced, which was a year after Corina graduated High School.
The abuse has given Corina lots of challenges in her adult life. Namely in intimate relationships. She had a boyfriend and had set clear boundaries going into it of what she did and didn’t like and what she would and wouldn’t do, yet the boyfriend was constantly pushing those boundaries. Corina felt out of control with her own body.
When Corina was 11, she was diagnosed with endometriosis. She had been having problems, so they found out very early. She struggled with it clear up until this day. One of the side effects of it is painful intercourse. At 13, she was told she would have a very small chance at ever getting pregnant. At 16, her doctor told her that if she ever wanted to have a baby, she should have one now. All of this led Corina to go into her marriage expecting fertility treatments and adoption.
Corina married and had an IUD for the first year of marriage. Intimacy was a challenge because it was so painful for her. Their second year, they decided to see a fertility doctor and got pregnant right away. Once Corina had their son and was able to resume intercourse with her husband, she had to find a new birth control. She ended up going with the Nexplanon and it depleted her testosterone levels, which in turn left her with no sex drive. She eventually had it removed and she was diagnosed with hypersensitivity to all birth controls.
Shortly after, they decided they were ready to try again for another baby. They anticipated that it would happen quickly like it did the first time around, but it didn’t happen. Corina said that having sex with her husband became a chore. “In order to have a baby, you have to have sex,” so it was kind of like a let’s just do this and get it over with kinda thing. Month after month, Corina was not getting pregnant, which led her into depression. They ended up doing fertility treatments.
Corina admits that she felt like she should just leave her husband because he deserved so much better, but in a way, that was a good thing for them because it forced them to figure out ways of being inmate without actually having sex.
Listen to the full episode to hear all the details.
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