In this episode, I talk with Tasia about life after loss. She did her first episode (#39) where she talked about the loss of her precious baby girl, Holland, to Trisomy 18. Tasia shares about getting pregnant again, what it’s like to have to resume life and mom guilt.*

At Tasia’s three month post-op appointment after losing her daughter, Holland, the doctor gave them the OK to try again for another baby. They immediately started trying and nothing.. They tried for about a year. In February of 2018, Tasia had a miscarriage. They knew they wanted another baby right away, so they tried again and two weeks later, she was pregnant.

At 28 weeks, she started having some major pains, so they went to the ER. The doctor said it was just heartburn, so they sent her home. At 32 weeks, they started NST (non-stress tests) on the baby because she had high blood pressure. A couple weeks later, she popped her ear drum while cleaning her ears and developed an ear infection that caused her to lose hearing in both ears. At 36 weeks, she still could not hear and had really high blood pressure. The doctor told them they needed to get to the hospital ASAP because her numbers were not good. She ended up having her son that night, once they got to the hospital.

Tasia talks about how at Christmastime last year, she posted some pictures after Santa came and her sister pointed out that there was a spirit in the picture. Tasia felt like that meant all of her babies were home for Christmas. She also talks about mom guilt and how it effects her, like when they get family pictures done or when she takes pictures of her kids because there are two that are not in them.

Listen to the full episode to hear all the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–Tasia’s first episode
–Period tracker app (also let’s you know your ovulation cycle)
–Christmas picture
–Jo’Anne Smith, medium
–Tasia’s blog
–Tasia’s Instagram
–Remembrance jewelry (this is my friend’s company and all of her stuff is beautiful!)
–Journal
–Katie Taylor’s episode on loss
–Shailee Garnier’s episode on grief
-My ending song recommendation: The Story Left Untold by Every Avenue (listed on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)

“You must learn to trust that there is a future waiting for you, beyond what you might be able to grasp at this present moment.”

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