In this episode, I chat with my friend Viva about the abuse, both physical and emotional, she suffered as a child by her mother and the sexual abuse by a well-respected uncle. It took Viva years to be able to realize that the sexual abuse really did happen. She shares how those things have affected all parts of her life.*

Viva’s parents divorced before she was even born. They did get back together, had her younger brother and then separated for good. Her mom remarried when she was four and Viva said they lucked out in the bonus dad department. Viva’s biological dad has been in and out of prison her whole life. Her mom and bonus dad had two more kids. He traveled a lot and her mom was stressed. Viva became the target for her mom.

At 6 years old, Viva was sexually abused by her favorite uncle. One that the whole family loved. Because of that, Viva felt like she could never speak up about it. She thought no one would believe her. She convinced herself it was just a bad dream… But she thought about that bad dream often. Years later, she finally realized that it really did happen and it wasn’t all in her head.

Viva struggled with relationships for far too long because of these things. It was very hard for her to be intimate and open up to people. She admits that she is very dependent on others emotionally and that makes her an easy subject for manipulation.

This was a really great episode on the lasting effects of abuse. I am so proud of Viva for talking about it and for sharing. She said since she first told me in her initial email to me, she has been able to find some healing and talk about it with others.

Listen to the full episode to hear all the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–Rebecca Chesley’s episode on sexual exploitation and assault
-Viva’s favorite product: Whip It cleaner
-Viva’s book recommendations: Girl, Wash Your Face and Lord of the Rings
-Viva’s song recommendation: Truth Hurts by Lizzo and Never Too Far by Mariah Carey (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
-My ending song recommendation: Girl Crush by Little Big Town (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
–Viva’s Instagram

“Owning your story is the bravest thing you’ll ever do.”
– Brene Brown

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