In this episode, I chat with an anonymous guest that we’ll call “Olivia.” Olivia shares what it was like to be married to a narcissist and how she was manipulated and made to believe that she was crazy. Olivia was finally able to realize what was going on in her marriage and filed for divorce.*
Olivia was found herself a single mom with a four-year-old son. She took a leap of faith and moved from a large area to a small town. She did not date until her son was 15. When Olivia felt like she was ready and her and her son could handle her being in a relationship, she met a guy online. He was super funny and nice. They did meet in person a couple times and seemed to really hit it off.
After a year-and-a-half of dating, they got married. Two weeks into the marriage, Olivia discovered that in the beginning of their marriage, he had an email relationship with someone else. She confronted him and he just gave the basic guy answer, so she just brushed it off. Any time there was a confrontation about anything, he would love bomb her.
One night, after she went to bed, she heard him outside talking to someone, but she could not hear the responses, so she went out to see what was going on. He was on a video chat with someone, but as soon as he realized she was there, he hurry and closed out of everything. After that, Olivia became her own detective. Come to find out, her husband was all over the internet on dating websites, including Craigslist. They went to counseling and talked about it a lot. Oftentimes, when Olivia would confront him or say something, he would turn it around on her to make it her fault.
Finally she had had enough and decided to file for divorce. Then her dad was diagnosed with cancer. In an effort not to worry her dad, she put the divorce on hold. After her dad got a clean bill of health, she tried to kick her husband out, but he would not leave. Olivia spoke to her attorney and the advice was that they may need to get an emergency filing to get him out.
One particular day after Olivia had gotten out of the shower, she noticed her husband’s phone going off, one text after another. He had left his phone on the bathroom counter on purpose, to prove that “he wasn’t doing anything.” But this girl was proving otherwise. So Olivia responded and said she was the wife. The girl was texting Olivia back on the husband’s phone telling Olivia everything that had been going on. Olivia, once again, confronted her husband and he went into a narcissistic rage.
He tried to leave in her car with one of the dogs, but she flagged him down and he came back. She said no dogs and to take the other car. He was mad about that and had slammed a big metal gate into her arm. At that point, Olivia began to fear him. She ran into the house, locked the doors and called 911. The cops showed up, but he was gone by this point. He did come back after a few minutes to try and explain to the cops his side of what happened, but they told him he needed to stay the night somewhere else. During this time, Olivia filled out a restraining/protective order against him and then weird things started happening. Her husband would contact her, begging for her back and for her to not tell the police he was in contact. She did call the cops though and he went to jail twice for violating the order.
Despite all of that, her now ex-husband still contacts her and tells her he loves her and wants her back. They do share custody of their dogs, so she can’t change her phone number. Olivia is to the point where she is about ready to let him just have the dogs so that he will be out of her life for good.
Olivia shares some great advice for people in this same type of relationship, as well as advice for friends and family that may have a loved one in this type of relationship. Olivia also shares resources that helped her through this.
Listen to the full episode for all the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
-Get help as soon as you realize you need it.
-You’re not alone and there are people that will be there for you, support you and help you through it.
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–What is a narcissist?
–What is a sociopath?
–Brighter Outlook Counseling Service
-Olivia’s favorite book: The Secret Life of Bees
-Olivia’s favorite product: Lashify
-Olivia’s song recommendation: Lose Yourself by Eminem (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
-My ending song recommendation: Love, Lust & Liars by I Prevail (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
“Trust your intuition. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone. Just trust your own inner guidance. It knows best.”
If you have your own story to tell, please email me or click the “Share Your Story” tab at the top of the page.