An episode you’ve all been waiting for! I chat with Colton, the husband of Jenessa (from episode 16, who admits she had an affair), to hear his side of the story. Colton also shares other things from his life, such as a nearly fatal motocross accident, being suicidal, serving a partial LDS mission and then, of course, about his marriage.*
If you haven’t listened to Jenessa’s episode 16, it would probably be a good idea for you to. Jenessa is Colton’s wife. In that episode, she admits that she had an affair and shares her side of the story. Now it’s Colton’s turn to share his side.
Colton is the boy that Carrie (episode 11) got pregnant with at 15. When Colton was about 3 or 4, he remembers going to the court house and being adopted by the dad he grew up with. He did not meet his biological dad until he was a teenager.
Colton began racing motorcycles at 3 years old. He said the track is what held his family together for a lot of years. About 4 months before Colton’s 16 birthday, he was in a nearly fatal accident. He suffered some broken bones and brain damage and was also in a wheelchair. Because of that, his motocross sponsors had moved on to someone else. He had basically failed school, so they gave him the option to make up his Sophomore year in the Summer between his Junior and Senior year. Colton thought that would be okay. He ended up getting back on his bike a little too soon and in the middle of his Junior year, he had to go back in for surgery where they had to start all over, which in turn, the school said to not worry about finishing his Junior year. They said to come back in the Fall and start Junior year over… when everyone that he had grown up with would be a Senior.
During Colton’s “super Junior” year, he met Jenessa. During that year, he almost felt like the new kid because his friends were all moving on with their Senior year. Colton said it hit him harder when he finally became a Senior because everyone he’d grown up with was no longer there and Jenessa had also went back to her original school.
Also during High School, Colton found himself very suicidal. There were several nights where he would load his shotgun and stick it in his mouth and debate it. One night, he just went for it.. “But by some miracle, it was on safety.” After a really weird dream, Colton never got to that point again.
Colton had never been active in any church until after his motorcycle accident. He started attending Seminary and felt like he had been placed in the path he needed to be on. After High School, Colton decided to serve and LDS mission. Him and Jenessa had been dating and they had been good about not letting it go to far.. Until shortly after he got his mission call.
About 6 months in to his LDS mission, he felt the need to confess. Late one night, he called the mission President to let him know what he had done. A couple weeks later, Colton got a call saying he needed to go to the mission home. There, he learned that he would be going home from his mission.. 18 months early.
Meanwhile, Jenessa was in other countries teaching little kids how to speak English. About 6 weeks after she got home, her and Colton got married. About 5 months into their marriage, Colton filed for divorce because he thought they had nothing in common. Right before he actually took the paperwork in, he realized he was being unfair and they remained together, working on their marriage and themselves. They had two little boys, moved back to their hometown and built a house. Then Colton broke a couple bones and was unable to do the work he had been doing. He got into several different things, but none with a guaranteed $x paycheck. Jenessa did not like that.
Colton had an opportunity to go open a new solar office in Texas. The plan was for him to go down, open up, find a house, then Jenessa and the boys would move down. But unfortunately, the office didn’t really work out, so Colton came back home. At that time, he could feel that they were drifting apart, so Colton said they should probably separate. But little did Colton know, an affair had already happened.
Shortly after they separated, Colton realized he let his pride get in the way and he was going to lose his family over it, so he tried to go back to Jenessa to make it work, but she had already closed him off. Ultimately, she did let him back in their home.
The day after Thanksgiving, Jenessa went on a Black Friday shopping spree with Colton’s aunt. The next day, she was sleeping and her phone kept buzzing. Colton went to grab it to text Jenessa’s friend back to let her know she was sleeping, but what he saw changed everything. “Did you tell him yet?”
When Colton confronted Jenessa and she admitted to it, he immediately forgave her. He felt like it was his fault that she went looking somewhere else. He wanted to make it work with her, but she was still unsure. They separated, but still saved face with the family. Come Christmas time, Colton had told Jenessa that when the New Year came around, he was either with her or he wasn’t – there wasn’t going to be anymore of the in between. Jenessa couldn’t make up her mind, so Colton made up his.
Two weeks into the New Year, Colton filed for divorce. After mediation, Colton was told that in about a week he would get a call saying that the divorce was final. A week came and went and so did another and he still had not received a call saying it was final. He had a feeling that he should call to check the status. Turned out that the case had to be switched to a different judge. Colton asked if there was any way to stop it. The lady said as long as the new judge hadn’t signed off on it yet and that he would need to come in and sign a dismissal form. Colton figured he’d just go after work and whatever was supposed to happen would happen. Then he had another feeling that he just needed to go. He left work and went to the courthouse. It made it with literally minutes to spare. He signed the dismissal and then had to tell Jenessa what he’d done. He had not talked to her about any of this.
When he told her that night what she’d done, she was hesitant because she was finally to a point where she was okay to move on from him and their marriage. They talked and decided to give it one last shot. Colton had conditions, one of them being that they were going to move to Vegas, where he was working. She agreed and he was super surprised. They have been going strong ever since.
Colton shares some great advice on tips for anyone that may be going through this and how to make it work.
Listen to the full episode to hear all the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
-Jenessa’s (Colton’s wife) episode 15 – Adoption, Placing for Adoption and Meeting Her Birth Parents and episode 16 – A Marital Affair.
–Carrie’s (Colton’s mom) episode
–Hot Rod movie
–His Needs, Her Needs book
–The 5 Love Languages book
-Colton’s favorite book: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
-Colton’s song recommendation: The Best Part of Me by Ed Sheeran (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
-My ending song recommendation: The Bleeding by Deepfield (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. – CS Lewis
If you have your own story to tell, please email me or click the “Share Your Story” tab at the top of the page.