In this episode, I chat with Tasia about the loss of her sweet baby girl, Holland. She had Trisomy 18 and lived only a couple days. Tasia also talks about the loss of her grandpa, whom she was very close to.* This is an episode where you’ll definitely need tissues.

Tasia and her husband married in 2013. They tried for a little while to get pregnant and finally ended up having a little girl. They wanted more kids, so they tried again and were lucky to get pregnant right away. It was a girl! Tasia was so excited to have two little matching girls. At her 20 week ultrasound, the tech was being a little weird. Of course, they are not authorized to tell you what is going on with your baby, so the tech told Tasia to come back in two or three weeks for another scan. Three days after her second scan, she went in for her appointment. There, the doctor told Tasia that her daughter had pulmonary atresia. After that, she had an appointment for an echo at Primary Children’s Hospital.

“Oh, yeah. I’m definitely seeing hear disease.” And then the doctor walked out. He said he’d be back in a few minutes. When he came back, he had Tasia and her husband come up with a birth plan. The doctor also suggested she do some genetic testing. From that, Tasia learned that her baby had Trisomy 18. Tasia had to switch to a high-risk doctor in the city. During this time, her grandpa had been transferred to a care facility, so after every appointment she had, she’d go an visit her grandpa before going home. One of those days, she had told her grandpa, “if my baby doesn’t make it, I need you to take care of her for me.”

On February 20 at 4 AM, little Holland was born via C-section. She was only 3 pounds and had a CPAP covering her face. The doctor came to Tasia and said they’d take them to a different room and let them decide whether or not they wanted the baby to have surgery. They ultimately decided against it.

The next day, on February 21, Tasia learned that her grandpa had passed. On February 22, Holland kept having Brady episodes where her heart would stop. The nurse and doctor would come in, then her heart would start again. Tasia had not slept at all because she was so afraid that her daughter would pass while she was asleep.

Tasia did happen to fall asleep and when she woke back up, she realized Holland had gone to Heaven. The mortician was called and the family came to say their goodbyes. Tasia describes what she had to do before she handed her baby to him. Be sure you have tissues handy for that part!

Listen to the full episode for all of the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–Period/ovulation tracking app (I personally use this app. I have for probably close to 6 years.)
–Tasia’s blog
–Katie Taylor’s episode
–Jo’Anne Smith, medium
–Shilo Madsen’s episode
-Tasia’s favorite product: Secret Clinical deodorant
-Tasia’s favorite book: A Love Letter Life
-Tasia’s song recommendation: The Sun is Rising and God’s Country (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
–Tasia’s Instagram

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