In this episode, I chat with my sweet friend Josie about what it was like to be a child of an affair – when she found out, how she felt and when she met her other family. We also talked about her being in an abusive relationship with a drug user, which led her to single motherhood. She also talked about losing her bonus mom and older sister and all about making something of yourself through all the hardships.*
Josie’s parents divorced when she was two. That same year, her older sister, who was four at the time, was hit by a car and killed. After her parent’s divorce, Josie lived with her dad. A little less than a year later, he remarried. Josie absolutely loved her bonus mom. When Josie was 10, her bonus mom passed away from cancer. This was devastating to Josie and she really struggled with it. After that, her dad struggled with raising two young girls and a little boy, so Josie felt like it was probably best that she go back to live with her mom. That was another hard thing for her – going from a really small school to a really big school, not knowing anyone, etc.
When Josie was 12 or 13, her mom told her that her dad wasn’t really her dad. This really threw Josie for another loop. She started to feel some abandonment and really felt like she was the reason for her parent’s divorce and her siblings heartache. She began to distance herself from her family and hang out more with friends. They were her new safe place. At 17, Josie moved out.
She had dated a few guys, a couple of them seriously, but the didn’t work out. Then she met her son’s dad. A few months into that relationship, she found out he was abusing narcotics. It was really bad. When Josie entered the relationship with him, her car was paid off, she had built up a savings account and had furniture. When she left, she was $5-10,000 in debt and had a loan out on her car. One day after work, there was a knock on the door. “I’m looking for Clint.” Josie told the man he wasn’t there. “He owes me $x for drugs and if I don’t get it, I’ll take it out of your hide.” The next day, Josie ended up leaving.
After Josie met her current husband, she and her son moved back to the Richfield area. Josie decided to go to nursing school at that time, all while working a full-time job, plus being a single mom. They got married several years into the relationship and now have a little girl together.
Towards the end of the episode, I ask Josie about when she met her biological father. She actually worked with a sister from that side of the family for about 5 years before the sister really knew who she was. Josie said at first it was really great – like she had this whole new family, but then she started to feel out of place because they all knew each other and she didn’t really know any of them.
Listen to the full episode for all the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
-Don’t use your kids against the other parent to get what you want.
-Kids don’t fix relationships.
-Find a good support system.
-Be open and honest with your kids.
-Give your kids a safe word that they can use to get out of a bad situation.
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–My first episode
–The episode talking about knowing your life was coming to an end
-Josie’s favorite books: The 50 Shades of Grey Series
-Josie’s favorite thing: L’ange wand
–Episode with the kindness cards
–Random Acts of Kindness cards
-Josie’s song recommendation: You are My Sunshine by Jasmine Thompson and one by Johnny Cash, as well (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
-Ending song: Five by Dierks Bentley(listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.
If you have your own story to tell, please email me or click the “Share Your Story” tab at the top of the page.