In this episode, I chat with one of my funniest friends ever, Dakota. We chat about how she is a young mom of three littles, 6 and under. Her experience with PPD (postpartum depression) which actually led to a diagnosis of RDD (recurrent depressive disorder) and from there, led to an attempted suicide.*

Dakota met her husband when she was in 6th grade. They got together when she was a freshman. Got engaged in February of her Senior year, married in July and pregnant in August. During her pregnancy, her husband was working construction, so he was gone most of the week. Dakota was very, very sick at this time – puking all day long. This led her to drop out of beauty school. She had her first baby the next year and two weeks later, her husband went to the police academy.

When Dakota’s first baby was 8 months old, she got pregnant again. Then a couple years later, she got pregnant with their last child – a boy this time. When the baby was 6 months old, Dakota and the girls on her mom’s side of the family went on a girls trip. She took the baby because he was still little and he wasn’t a good sleeper. Up every half hour. Dakota says she was lucky if she got a full hour of sleep. So when everyone was up on this trip, they wanted to go, go, go. “Which was fine, but I wasn’t,” Dakota says. One night, Dakota and her mom had gotten into an argument. When they went back to the place they were staying, Dakota put her baby to bed and told her mom she was going to get a drink. That was actually not her plan. She was going to take her life in the Harmon’s parking lot.

After having her third baby, Dakota’s depression turned to rage. Everything made her mad. After her near suicide attempt, she went back to the doctor to let them know what almost happened. They put her on something different and she went to therapy. When she was in the middle of all this, she would lay in bed for days. “What my kids would eat is what they could bring me to open.”

After changing medications several times, she finally found something that works for her. Dakota says “this is the first time in our marriage where I haven’t been a freakin’ bump on a log.”

Listen to the episode to hear all the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
-If you’re taking some medication to help you feel better and you don’t feel better, go back to the doctor and tell them it’s not working.
-If someone is struggling with depression, do not tell them “just think positive.”
-You are worthy of help.
-The mess can wait.
-Love yourself first.

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
–Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne (listen on the Hard Knocks guest list on Spotify)
-If you are struggling with depression and need someone to talk to, you can call one of these hotlines at any time.
–Box of Sunshine
-Dakota’s favorite book: Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and Oh, The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss
–Dakota’s Instagram
-Ending song: Stupid in Love by Rihanna (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)

The bravest thing I have ever done was continuing to live when I wanted to die.

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