In this episode, Samie and I talked about what it was like to be pregnant at 15, then transitioning into a single mom still in High School. She shares what it was like to date as a single mom with a little boy that always came with on dates, then eventually meeting her husband when her son was four or five and how her husband ended up adopting her son.*
Growing up, Samie thought they lived a perfect life. “I didn’t know much about the world,” she said. Her parents divorced when she was an older kid. At 14, Samie, her mom and sister moved to the Richfield area and her mom remarried. At the time, she didn’t realize how emotionally abusive her father was, but looking back now, she can see it clearly.
When she met her son’s biological dad, a lot of people warned her to stay away from him, but she didn’t listen. Samie found herself pregnant at 15. In the beginning of her pregnancy, the father was decent and was there. But then, it got rocky. About 6 months after the baby was born, Samie and the father broke up. And that was ugly. Cops were involved and it was a very scary experience for her.
At that point, Samie really had no help. Her mom wouldn’t help much because she didn’t want to enable Samie and let her be a bad mom, which in turn, has made Samie a great mom! Next, we talked about how hard dating was with a child. Samie said she’d have to bring her son along, so they’d have to be kid-friendly dates. Samie made sure her son understood that the guys she was with were just friends. He never knew anything more than that. She mentioned how it was hard to find someone to accept that they were a package deal and they couldn’t do spur-of-the-moment things as easily.
By the time her son was four or five, Samie was tired of dating. She was looking for someone who was in it for the long haul. And wouldn’t you know, along came the man she was going to marry. About four or five months into the relationship, her son asked if that was his dad. It caught Samie off guard because they hadn’t talked about that. Samie and her boyfriend then talked about it and he said “tell him I am.” When Samie’s son asked her boyfriend if he was his dad, he said yes. Samie said “we need to get married.” A couple months later, they did. Shortly after that, they received papers in the mail from her son’s biological father saying that he wanted all or nothing. So Samie’s husband adopted her son.
Listen to the episode for all the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
-Be nice to people. Especially if you’re doing the same thing they are, but you haven’t got caught… Yet.
-If you’re in a bad situation, you do have the power to get out and change the ending.
-It is possible to find someone that loves you and your child(ren).
-You can have a baby in High School and still come out on top.
-If you’re still a kid living at home, try to be open with your parents. And in turn, if you’re a parent, try to be open with your child.
LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
-Samie’s song recommendation: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol (listen on the Hard Knock Guest List on Spotify)
-Samie’s favorite store: Jourdan’s Jewels (thanks girlfriend!) Use code “hardknocks” at checkout for 15% off your entire purchase. And here is the Hard Knocks collection.
-Ending song: The Harold Song by Ke$ha (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
You can still be a mess and be a good mom. We are allowed to be both.
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