In this episode, I chat with my cousin Nicole. We talked about how she met her husband, when she realized that they didn’t have any kids and what they ended up doing about it. Over the first 9 years of their marriage, they saw 4 different doctors before they went to a fertility clinic, which had them pregnant within the first 6 months. Nicole shares her miracle baby story and the heartache she feels not being able to get pregnant again.*

Nicole always knew she wanted kids, but she doesn’t recall ever actually having a conversation with her husband, Russell, about when or how many they would have. They were not trying, per se, but they weren’t doing anything to prevent it, either. About five years into their marriage was the first time that Nicole really realized that they didn’t have kids. Her doctor told her to go on birth control to try and regulate her cycle. After about two years and still nothing, they switched doctors. This doctor put her on another thyroid medication to try and combat several health problems she was having. They saw this doctor for six years before they decided it wasn’t working out and it was getting very expensive to travel to him all the time. They got a new doctor. Nicole ended up disappointed in him because they had two very different goals. The doctor wanted her to lose weight and she just wanted to get pregnant.

One day, she randomly remembered the name of a fertility specialist her friend had recommended years and years before. She looked him up and was able to get an appointment only two weeks later. They had lots of appointments and ultrasounds, etc. Then one day, he called and said Nicole needs to start taking some medications. The first month, it didn’t work. The second time, the follicle didn’t grow. The third time she was super discouraged, but the doctor had called and said everything looked good and it was time to try again. Nicole felt like everything that could have went wrong that day, did. They still went through with the appointment and the IUI. A week or so later, the hospital called to let her know she was pregnant! She couldn’t even believe it. They kept it a secret for a really long time because they just wanted to hold onto it forever. Nine months later, baby Finn was born in a storage unit.

Her baby is now three and they want more kids. Nicole and Russell have not done any more testing because she is so scared. When they got pregnant the first time, it was so miraculous. She fears this time around will be so much different and she doesn’t want to get her hopes up, only for them to be crushed.

We talk about being a “young” parent vs. being an “old” parent and when your friend’s kids are different ages than yours. We talk about how you then have to find and make new friends who have kids around the same age as yours so that they can have friends and that’s really hard. In Nicole’s case, they were the first ones out of their friends group to get married. Once their friends started to get married, they’d have kids right away. So now all their friends are done having kids and they’re just getting started.

The favorite quote that she couldn’t remember from Anne of Green Gables is “isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

Listen to Nicole’s episode to hear the rest of her story and all of the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:
-Find a doctor whose end-game goal is the same as yours.
-Go right to the source.. If you’re not getting pregnant, just go see a fertility specialist. That is what their main job is. Your OBGYN is probably great, but that is not their specialty.
-If you try for one year (or don’t prevent it), that is the time to see a doctor. If you’re over the age of 35, then six months.

LINKS:
–Carissa’s episode
–Nicole’s fertility specialist (in Utah)
-Nicole’s favorite book: Bridge to Terabithia
-Nicole’s favorite things: Ultimate Crayon Box
-Nicole’s song recommendation: I Believe in a Thing Called Love (listen to it on the Hard Knocks Guest playlist on Spotify)
-Closing song: Keep It To Yourself by Kasey Musgraves (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)

“Son, you are as smart as Iron Man. You are as strong as Hulk. You are as brave as Captain America. You are as mighty as Thor. You are my favorite superhero.”

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