I had the honor of sitting down with my beautiful aunt Vicki to share her powerful story about how it’s never too late. It’s never too late to start over. It’s never too late to try again. She shared how she wanted to be a mom so badly and ended up having an ectopic pregnancy. She did end up having two darling little baby girls after that. We talked a lot about her overcoming her drug addiction and eventually, that led to the divorce of her daughters dad and then to her getting remarried and having a blended family with six kids.*
Vicki got married to her high school sweetheart the month after graduation. That marriage only lasted three years before they got a divorce. She quickly jumped back in to another marriage. Around that time, she was diagnosed with endometriosis. Two years into her marriage, she found out she was pregnant for the first time. Within the first 8 weeks, she found out it was an ectopic pregnancy and had to have an emergency surgery. She got pregnant again, two months later. The baby was healthy, but Vicki had to be induced two weeks early because the baby was diagnosed with IUGR (so basically the baby was beginning to lose weight, not gain). Vicki’s second daughter was six weeks early and also had IUGR.
During all this time, there was drug use. Nobody knew what she was doing at the time, except the people she was doing it with. When she got clean and started telling people what she had done. No one could believe it! “You were always such a good mom. Your girls were in dance and you were at all of their things. They were always dressed so cute and clean and fed and taken care of.” She got clean on July 3, 2003 and divorced in June of 2004. It was not a nice and easy divorce.
So now, Vicki was divorced in her thirties with two little girls. She dated a couple people, one being her first husband. She just had to make sure — had to see if it was meant to be or not. In between then, she met her current husband. A friend wanted to set Vicki up with someone that reminder her of Vicki’s brother. She thought it was weird, but told her to send him for a haircut. They didn’t start dating yet, though. She was still seeing her ex-husband, but then had an epiphany that he trying his best to show up for her, but she needed more, so they ended up splitting again. So she was back single. During a phone call with one of her dear friends where Vicki was saying how guys weren’t calling and there were none available, her friend told her to make a list. This list needed to be what she was looking for in a partner. Then she was to put the list into the universe and to ask God to send the man to her when she was ready. Vicki thought it was strange, but what did she have to lose? So she did.
The next day, the man that is her current husband called for a haircut. She hadn’t seen him since 8 months before. While she was cutting his hair, he had invited her to go with him for the weekend. She called him the next day and let him know she’d be coming. This was in June. By October, they were married. But before that, he had proposed to her FIVE times!! He had four kids from two previous marriages and she had her two girls. She talks about raising a big blended family.
Listen to the episode to hear all the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
-In order to overcome anything, you have to change play mates, play grounds and play things.
-One of the biggest parts of recovery is not feeding the guilt.
-You only know what you know.
-It’s okay to argue/mild fight in front of your kids, as long as they see you come to a resolution and know that you love each other afterward. (Of course, they should not see the abuse or hear the name calling, etc. But it is okay to let them see a healthy argument.)
-Healthy happy people raise healthy happy children.
-It’s better to be WANTED than NEEDED.
-It’s the little things that really are the big things.
-OWN YOUR TRUTH!
-Vicki’s favorite book: The Shack (also a movie) and Fearless
-Favorite things: A Star is Born movie
-Song recommendation: The Daughters by Little Big Town (listen on the Hard Knocks Guest List on Spotify)
-Ending song: All I Want by Staind (listen on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
Start over, my darling. Be brave enough find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.
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