In this episode, Shailee and I talked about her 18 year old brother dying in a freak motorcycle accident. We talked about what they learned about Hunter after he passed, as well as ways that Shailee and their family have learned to deal with their grief. Through all of this, Shailee and a partner have started the Forever 30 Foundation.*

On March 31, 2018, Shailee’s (and her whole families lives) took a huge spin. It was Shailee’s husbands birthday that day and her brother had a motocross race in Delta, UT. Shailee and her husband did not attend this race, since it was her husband’s birthday. They had the perfect day together and she ended up throwing him a little surprise birthday dinner at Sakura. At the end, there was a problem with their tickets. So while trying to figure all of this out, Shailee’s husband’s phone kept ringing. (She had forgotten hers at home.) He ignored it once, then twice, but really felt the urge to answer it the third time. He said “hello?” and immediately handed the phone to Shailee with a desperate look on his face. It was her cousin saying something was wrong. They immediately left and raced home so she could be by her phone.

Hunter had been racing since he was 12 years old. This day, he was on his favorite track. One that he had raced plenty of times and knew really well. His parents said he was just different that day. He made sure to notice everyone, tell them he loved them and thank them for coming. He raced better than he ever had. It was the last race of the day when Hunter crashed.

Shailee needed to talk to somebody and find somebody that knew what she was going through. She hopes to be that person for you.

Listen to the episode for all of the details.

*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.

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Key takeaways:
-Do you have a “perfect day” list?
-Grief has no timeline.
-Don’t compare your grief with others. Others struggle differently. You don’t have to be okay just because someone else is.
-Your grief is not worse than anyone else’s.
-When you don’t know what to say to someone that has lost a loved one, just say “I’m so sorry.” Make sure you check in on the person to ask how they are or to let them know you’re still thinking about them.
-Do not be ashamed of seeking help.
-Be intentional.
-A little “hello” goes a long way!
-Find one good thing in every single day – even the shitty ones.
-To change your situation, all it takes is one leap of faith.

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Links:
–Hunter Syddall Forever 30 Foundation
–Simply Sadie Jane (Tony Story)
-Shailee’s songs that are getting her through right now: Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne and Inner Demons by Julia Brennan (you can find both of these on the Hard Knocks Guest List on Spotify)
–Shailee’s Instagram
–Forever 30 Foundation Instagram
-Ending Song: Better Than Me by Hinder (find this and all the other ending songs on the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)

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The world is full of kind people. If you can’t find one, be one.

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