Depression and anxiety are two different things, but often come together. You definitely can have one without the other, but it is not uncommon to feel both. They are real. And they can affect anyone, no matter the age, as you’ll hear in this episode.*
JaKale really lays it out there on what every day looks like for her with her own battles inside her head, as well as having to deal with the anxiety her six year old son struggles with.
In middle school, she was bullied because she hit puberty early, so she had a big butt and boobs. She was called “egg butt” and people accused her of stuffing. Going to school was very hard for her. In high school, she ended up switching schools and graduated a year early.
After high school graduation, she went to College and moved several times because people can be very overwhelming for her. At 19, she found herself pregnant, only two months after dating her boyfriend. JaKale had a pharamacy tech job after her son was born, but after a scary experience, she decided to just stay home and babysit some kids here and there. She shares about her struggles with getting up every day and cleaning the house. But the most important thing is that her kids are alive. They are loved and taken care of.
Moving away to College was the best thing for her. She was able to have a fresh start. No one knew who she was or anything about her. She could date whoever, be friends with whoever, dress how she wanted, etc.
Four years ago, she had a miscarriage. JaKale went to the doctor and there was no heartbeat. They told her she could wait to weeks and let her body just do its thing or she could take a pill to make it happen faster. She opted to wait to weeks. For her, that was perfect. She was able to process every emotion. Let all the feels happen and she was able to come to terms with it before it actually passed. On her mother-in-law’s birthday, it happened. JaKale ended up going to the hospital because she lost a lot of blood.
JaKale has found it easier to let people know what her triggers are so that they are aware and can try to avoid doing/saying those things. She was diagnosed some bipolar meds – even though she is not actually bipolar. It is just that her emotions are that of someone with bipolar disorder, without the manic episodes.
Three years ago, when her son Kelby was three and JaKale was pregnant, they moved. This triggered something in little Kelby’s head and he totally changed. He ran in front of a car at a gas station when JaKale was 9 months pregnant. She said she saw his life flash before her eyes. Kelby has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). Outside of the home, he is an angel. He does well in school, his teachers and friends all like him, the parent helpers like him. JaKale shares some of his behaviors, like laying behind the car so they can’t leave, and shares the things that work for parenting him.
We talk about things kids say and how they learn things at school, that are sometimes inappropriate for them to know at their age. It’s hard to keep your child sheltered, and I don’t necessarily think they should be, but there are definitely ages where certain things are appropriate for them to know and others are not.
Listen to the episode for all of the details.
*Please note: this is the guest’s story. Their story is how they perceive it. It is not my judgement or responsibility to determine whether or not this story and the things said are true. Please be open minded when listening to/reading these stories.
-If you’re on some sort of medication for your depression or anxiety and decide that you want to stop taking them, that’s fine, but you can’t quit your therapy and everything else. Don’t quit everything cold turkey. It’s still important to practice your coping skills and do something that helps you relieve your stress.
-Consistency is key. So is communication.
-If you’re having a hard time, it’s best to just let people know, rather than keep it in. No one can read your mind.
-It’s okay to ask for help.
-Your high school years are short. There is a big, huge, long life after high school. It’s a big world out there after those few four years.
-Check in on your friends.
-It’s okay to have feelings!
-JUST DO IT!
-JaKale’s favorite book: Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis and Sell or Be Sold.
-Song that is always in her head:High Hopes by Panic! at the Disco (listen to theSpotify Guest List here)
-Ending song: Stay by Florida Georgia Line (listen to the Hard Knocks playlist on Spotify)
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